The height of absurdity

The big red tent now sitting in front of my house

Well, maybe not the height, but getting there. So, a few weeks ago, we had a few days of rain, a prelude to our usual fall, and Wayne came in telling me that Luke doesn’t like to get wet. I said, “He’s a dog. He’ll get used to it.” Now, guess what we have on our front lawn blocking the view of my pretty green door? A big red tent. Wayne insisted on ordering it to keep Luke dry. We have had two dogs now, but none of them needed his own personal tent to keep dry. Not only that, but Luke tends to go right out into the rain as far as I can see. As you can see, there was very little point in my having bothered to match my yard furniture to the door. I think we all know who the tent is for.

Lukey had his third vet appointment on Monday, the second with the vet. She had seen him last when we had only had him for three days. She said the change in his looks and behavior was remarkable. When we first took him there, he wet on the table, and she said that all his siblings had done the same thing. This time, he walked up to meet her and was friendly, wasn’t shy at all about going up on the table, and was pleased to eat the cheese she gave him when he got his shots. She congratulated us on managing to socialize him so well. He is still pretty scared of some things. Just this morning he dragged Wayne up from the road because a six-year-old with a cough startled him.

This week for our hike it was just Maja and me, so we went to the nearest park, the Hantwick access for Moulton Falls. It may have been my last time to hike in just a t-shirt for the fall and winter. Today it is only in the 50’s, and it isn’t supposed to get any warmer, but it is sunny. It’s been quite cold when I took the dog out. It is Maja and me again, so we probably won’t try anything that unusual.

This week is supposed to be the one when the colors change for fall, and I can see that happening. Around here, we have mostly evergreens, and the preponderance of other colors seems to be yellow with some red because a lot of people have maples. There is one glorious huge tree that we see when we turn from Garner to Kelly road that is a beautiful orange. I think it might be an oak.

My first basket of brussel sprouts with a few lettuce leaves thrown in

Speaking of fall, my garden is beginning to wind up. I have picked my squashes and begun to pick my brussel sprouts. I planted eight plants before I realized that was too many, and not all of them have sprouted very well. In fact, my biggest sprouts are only about an inch big, but I have been picking them if they are a half inch or bigger and leaving the smaller ones as long as I can before picking them, just keeping an eye on the nighttime temperatures. They are delicious at any size. I have lots of green tomatoes on one plant—the red ones have been coming out with spots—and that’s about all that is left in my garden. The cauliflower all sprung right away, so I just left it like that. It never became proper cauliflower.

Some friends and I have begun planning our trip in June to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. Right now, we’re just trying to pick our plays so that when I am able to buy the tickets in November, I’ll know what we want. In order to see all the Shakespeare plays we want to see, we are expanding our trip to go on Thursday and return on Sunday, but we have a difference of opinion on how many plays to try to attend during that period. I think three is probably sufficient, although I’m willing to go for four, but one person wants to go to five and another person doesn’t want to do more than three. I’m sure we don’t all have to do the same things at the same times.

I worked on leaves for my art class all day, but I have them pretty much done. Now the only major part of my painting that isn’t done at all is the pretty pink peonies. After I do those, I would imagine I’ll be doing touch-ups and refinements for several weeks. That is the part that always seems to last a long time, during which I have no sense of how done I am and I am just doing what the instructor tells me to do.

Nothing else special happened this week except I did some shopping for my great-nephew’s birthday. He wanted a large Bumblebee Transformer, which, of course, I could not find at any stores. I finally ended up ordering it. He will be five, and we are all going out for pizza in a couple of weeks.



Between a dog and a cat

Last night, we finally tried a big experiment. Ever since we got Luke, he has been sleeping in the guest room, first, because Hillary was afraid of him and he was afraid of Hillary, and second, because he wasn’t house trained. He still isn’t one hundred percent. We just had only our second day with no accidents yesterday (part of that is our fault, of course; it’s hard to keep taking out a dog who just wants to fart around eating wood and catching bugs), but he hasn’t had an accident in bed since a night when we first got him. (Of course, Wayne being Wayne, he neither thought to put the peed-upon comforter into the washer or spray it with something, he just put it on the floor.) At first, we took turns sleeping with Luke, but after a few days, Wayne decided to sleep with him because I couldn’t sleep all night when I did, so worried was I that he would have an accident.

So, we picked last night as the big night, the one when Wayne and Luke would return to the big bed. I had been peacefully sleeping with Hillary for weeks. (Actually, it was very nice having the bed to just myself and a small cat.) But we had introduced the pets to each other a few times, and although they were wary, we weren’t having fights or chases or anything. So, last night Hillary was quite taken aback when we came in for bed and put Lukey on the bed. He was a little anxious and tried to get off, but it is just a bit too high for him to jump off. Hillary immediately went under the bed and then under the desk chair.

To my surprise, after we all settled down, Hillary came back onto the bed and slept beside me all night. She doesn’t even do that usually unless she is cold. So, I was a pet sandwich. I had Lukey pressed up against my leg on one side and Hillary up against my head and side on the other. It would have been fine except I had leg cramps all night, probably because Luke was half on top of me, so I kept having to get up and walk them off. As a result, I didn’t get much sleep.

So, that’s the big news for the week. In other matters, we returned for our hike to the Kiwa Trail of the Ridgefield National Wildlife Refuge. We have been there twice before but not got to hike the trail. The first time, it wasn’t open, because it is closed during bird migration season. The second time was when there was a notice that the trail was closed because of a cougar being spotted near it.

If you look very closely down the trail, you can see a heron. I also tried to take a picture of the deer, which came very close to us, but by the time I got my phone out, put in the code, and took it, it was too far away to even see in the picture.

This time it was open, and it was very nice. We saw lots of wildlife on the drive in to the trailhead and more wildlife on the trail, which is through a woods and then a meadow. On the way in, we saw a nutria or muskrat crossing the road, and lots of cranes and herons. When we got to the trailhead, a pair of harrier hawks were playing in the field, and several wildlife photographers were taking their pictures. There were ducks in the canals near the entrance to the trailhead, a deer crossed our path, and we saw several herons along the way, not to mention all the meadow birds. On the way out, we spotted an animal that we finally identified as a mink. It was a beautiful day, sunny and cool.

We are now in a spate of warmer weather, but for a few days it began to look like true fall, with much colder temperatures and lots of rain. Then we had several days of perfect weather. I hope today will be one, but it may be too hot. I know it is forecast to be warmer than usual for this time of year.

At art class, I heard the teacher telling my sister that we weren’t in a race. She was supposed to be doing an exercise, and she obviously wasn’t into it, because she didn’t take any care with it. It was partly a color-matching exercise, but she didn’t do a good job of matching the colors at all and the brushwork was sloppy. Her rebellious streak seems to come out in art school. I’m not sure why she’s taking it if she doesn’t want to listen to the teacher enough to learn, so I expect to soon start hearing how expensive it is (it is not expensive for a two-hour class once a week) and how she thinks she’ll stop going. It may take her a few months, but I think she will probably quit again. At least she went out and bought the colors that she didn’t have for the class, but of course, she bought some cheap ones, even though the teacher said that the quality of paint will make a difference. She has some tubes of paint that don’t even have the color name printed on the tube, so no one knows exactly which red or blue they are.

I went back to working on my greenery this week. I was painting just the general shapes of the leaves at first, but by the end of the class I started putting in the frills and veins.

This weekend, I attended my niece’s Mabon Festival. She likes to research and celebrate the old festivals that existed before Christianity. Almost all of them were timed at roughly the same time as the ones we celebrate now. Mabon is a fall harvest festival, which she said is better timed, at the fall equinox, than Thanksgiving, because everyone has tons of ripe fruit and veggies in their gardens and orchards. It was a potluck for which I made a beet and apple salad and a peach crisp with some blackberries thrown in. The peaches were some that were trucked down from Yakima that we froze, and the blackberries were of course from my property. There was lots of delicious food. I am not a very social person at these events because I don’t know very many of the people and they are all twenty years younger than me (and their kids), and of course, Wayne didn’t want to go. Usually, Shawn and Randy, my niece’s husband’s parents, would have been there, but because Shawn is out of town, Randy didn’t come. However, several groups of people did talk to me, so I wasn’t as bored as I usually am and stayed later.

Cheese dog

The other morning, my husband had one of his alarmist attacks, where he tends to assume the worst, particularly about his own health. When we were supposed to get up early to go to water classes, he wanted to take Luke to the vet instead. Luke seemed perfectly healthy and perky to me, but Wayne was alarmed because he hadn’t pooped since early the day before. I pointed out that because Luke is insanely fond of cheese, he’d been getting some cheese with every meal, and cheese is binding, as my little German grandmother used to say. Sure enough, Luke went out shortly afterward and did his business. I have suggested that he get a little less cheese on his food at meal time.

He is a funny dog, because although he goes around picking up almost anything disgusting he can find outside or inside, when offered food, he is highly skeptical of anything except what he’s used to. I told Wayne this was a great opportunity to keep him on his kibble, as he used to feed our dog Hans all kinds of stuff that was bad for him, and both Hans and the first Luke were terrible beggars. This morning, however, I notice he fed him part of his omelet, so here we go. At puppy class, however, Luke turns his nose up at the trainers’ treats. We have to bring along a bag of his kibble. The only treat he seems to like is Milkbone dog biscuits.

Lukey did very well at puppy class this week except that on Saturday we were trying something that the trainer said she usually only does in the next class up, after puppy class. The puppies were put on place, and one at a time, each puppy was walked around the other puppies and then weaved among the puppies. The idea was to see if this distraction would cause the puppies to get off place or to not walk properly on their leashes. When it was his turn to do the walking, Lukey was doing okay until two great big older puppies both came off their places at once and approached him. This scared him so much that he had to sit the rest of the class out. They were about four times bigger than him.

Here’s a pretty pool along the path near the Hantwick trailhead at Moulton Park.

For our hike this week, it was me and my two stalwart hiking friends. Because the weather was rainy, we went to Moulton Park, the Hantwick trailhead, which has a nice paved path. I wore my new hiking boots, which I decided were a mistake because they were cutting into my ankles, even though I didn’t have the top hooks tied. This Monday, I took them back and exchanged them for the low rise ones. Unfortunately, the high boots were a nice blue gray, and all they had left in the low rise in my size was black. I am embarrassed to admit that I went home and ordered blue ones online in addition to the black ones. I have learned that if I like something I need to buy more than one, because when the other wears out, most likely I won’t find it again. I can either save one of the pairs of boots or alternate them so that they don’t wear out as fast. My hiking friend Shawn says her hiking books, the same ones only red, are the most comfortable shoes she owns.

And speaking of the weather, we had a few rainy days last week, but now it is warmer and gorgeous. Not hot like an Indian summer, but just about the perfect temperature. During the next week, the lows are supposed to be in the 50’s, and tonight even in the high 40’s. Leaves are beginning to change, so it will soon be fall.

In art class this week we had a substitute. As soon as two of the class members saw who was substituting, they both left. I don’t know if it was because they didn’t want anyone but Sarah or because of who was substituting. I found our substitute a little annoying, but she was okay. Sue said she made her really on edge. Instead of continuing work on my greenery, the substitute showed me a good approach for the shadows of the leaves on the wall, and that’s what I worked on for the rest of the class. My sister was supposed to do one more color-matching exercise, but it turned out she didn’t have all the colors she needed. She wanted to do the exercise anyway by approximating the colors, but the instructor had her start a painting instead. I want to point out that I started painting a year ago, and since then I have only finished two paintings. My sister completed the entire background of a complex painting in one session. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad for her. She says she wants to learn but tends to resist suggestions.

Today is exciting because we are getting a new dishwasher. From the time we moved in and actually paid attention to the dishwasher, I knew we were going to have to buy a new one. It was fairly clear that the previous owners removed their dishwasher sometime before or after the sale of the house and replaced it with one that was very old. I’m talking 1980’s at the earliest and possibly 70’s, one of those old beige plastic things that has since turned a sort of yellow.

A few months ago, I noticed that our glasses had a film on them and our glasses cupboard had a powder on it. I thought it was because we had recently changed our dish-washing detergent after our local grocery store stopped carrying the one we had been using. A couple weeks ago, however, my husband noticed that the lower rack to the dishwasher was not the one that actually went with it, as the soap dish could not even open up with that rack in the dishwasher. So, all this time, we have been just rinsing our dishes. My guess is that they found some old dishwasher and it didn’t have a rack, so they located a rack somewhere that wasn’t the right one for the appliance. I had noticed that it was sometimes hard to close the dishwasher, but it didn’t occur to me that anyone would put in the wrong rack. Now I’m totally grossed out.

Once we made that discovery, we looked online to see if we could buy a new rack. We could, but it didn’t seem to make sense to do so, since the rack cost a couple hundred dollars and our dishwasher is so old that it could break any time. So, we ordered a new one. I have been putting the soap in the prewash dish, which doesn’t have a top, ever since we made this discovery. I am looking forward to having really clean dishes.


Changing weather

Last week we had some beautiful days, sunny and in the 70’s. This week we have colder temperatures, more like fall, and rain. Yesterday, a thunder storm came through in the late afternoon, and the rain was pouring down for a brief period.

One view of the river from the park

Last week for our hike, however, it was still sunny and warm. I was still hiking in a short-sleeved shirt and a wide-brimmed hat, whereas today I will be wearing two shirts and my raincoat. We went to Lewisville Park, a regional park on the Lewis River. It is a pleasant park just north of Battle Ground with lots of facilities for picnicking, swimming, and fishing and a jogging and walking path around the park. It also has some beautiful views of the river.

At puppy class, Luke did better this week. We had two classes, on Wednesday evening and Saturday morning. During those classes, we practiced place, sit, and walk on a leash. He did very well at place and sit, but he got distracted by the other dogs walking up and down when we were walking. The trainer said never mind as he is so much younger than the other dogs. At home, he pretty much has place and sit down, although not so much staying in those positions. He doesn’t like proper walking on a leash, though, because we don’t have a fenced in area for him to run free, so he is used to roaming on a long leash. When I try to practice proper leash walking, he fights the leash.

He went for his second vet appointment this week and he has gained six pounds! I also notice he is a lot more leggy looking, looking a bit more adolescent. He has periods when he runs at me and tries to bite me, which are a little alarming. The trainer said to put him in his crate when he does that, but he tends to poop in his crate, and last night we hadn’t cleaned it out yet from him being in there while we went to water classes in the morning. We’re not lazy, it was just pouring all day long outside. In any case, the house training is not going so well. We’ve only had one day without an accident, and now that it’s raining, we find that he doesn’t like going out in the rain to do his business.

I have formally introduced Luke to Hillary by putting him up on the bed. She has seen him several times because he occasionally goes back into the bedroom, although we try to keep him out. Wayne is working on putting up a gate with a cat door in it to keep Luke out of the back hall and let Hillary come out when she wants to. So far, she has only come out when she knew Luke was out of the house, although there have been a couple of close encounters. When they met, they looked at each other. Luke seemed more frightened of Hillary than Hillary was of Luke. He offered to go forward to sniff her, but she plainly didn’t like that idea, so then Luke indicated that he would like to leave the room, or at least the bed.

At art class I finished my teapot and began painting the greenery in my vase. I don’t know how many final touches we will do to the painting, but I’m beginning to think it may be finished in a few weeks. My sister was excited this week because she was going to start her first painting. She quit at the end of the drawing class, and since she restarted, the teacher has had her working in pastels. But she didn’t like it at all, and was eager to get into painting. The teacher tried to argue her out of working in acrylics because they dry faster than oils, and she said you can get much richer effects with oils, but Sue was adamant about using the paints she has at home. She says she has a whole file drawer full of acrylic paints. I have personally always fooled around with oils. I like how they smell, I like playing with them, I pretty much like everything about them.

My husband and I started back at water classes this week. He had the water arthritis class and I went back to deep water exercise. I really like that class. My class starts a half hour later than his, so I swam laps while I waited for my class to start. The pools have been cleaned, and it was refreshing.

No wildlife sightings on our property this week except that the stellar jays are back from wherever they go in the summer. I think with Lukey playing in the wolf pen that we may not sight any deer back there for a while.


Puppy training and a challenging hike

This Saturday, my husband and I took Lukey to his first puppy training class. We have observed some behaviors in him that make us think he came from a puppy mill. We never saw where he was raised but met him and his breeder at her daughter’s house. Also, he had fleas when we got him, which seems unusual for a reputable breeder. In any case, I want to get a handle on some of his behaviors right away.

He was by far the youngest puppy in the class, even though they take puppies from 10 weeks old up. He was 13 weeks, but the other puppies were older and bigger breeds. He spent most of the first part of the class, while the trainers talked to us, hiding under our chairs. Then it turned out we had the wrong kind of leash, the wrong kind of collar (we had him in a halter, which is what he came in—well, not that one—he had chewed the one we got him with in half already). Once we got that taken care of, we tried to get him to go to a little trampoline that is part of training him to go to place. He spent all his time bucking the new collar, though, so we ended up just walking him around the room, trying to get him used to being there. The trainer said he would take things slowly but once he got them, he would understand what he was doing, unlike the other dogs there who were willingly doing what their owners wanted but not necessarily understanding what they were doing.

So, basically Lukey flunked his first day of puppy class. Today, he is going to puppy play and learn, which is with the trainers only. Wayne is going to drop him off at 10 and pick him up at noon while I am on my hike.

Last week, we went to the campus of Washington State University Vancouver for our hike on the cougar trails. It was a cool day at home, so I was overdressed, wearing a long sleeved shirt, and it turned out to be much warmer there. Also, parts of the paths were in the open sunlight, so I wasn’t unhappy when we decided to take only one of the shorter loops. After that, we went out to lunch at a Thai restaurant in Vancouver. We did see a coyote on the trails, though, which surprised us as we were so close into town.

Speaking of hikes, on Monday I went with my sister Sue, my niece Katrina, and her kids on a hike on June Lake Trail up in Mt. St. Helens National Volcanic Monument. The hike was rated easy on All Trails but was actually a bit challenging for me, because it was all uphill on the way there, nothing steep, but rising all the way, which is the hardest for me outside of outright steepness. However, we had beautiful views along the way of the creek running alongside the trail and a few glimpses of Mt. St. Helens. Once we got to the top of the trail, we were near the base of the granite part of the mountain.

A glimpse of Mt. St. Helens from the trail

The way down was easy. I was lagging behind a bit because I am careful, but also because my four-year-old great nephew was accompanying me. I had told him on the way up that my brother John, who has been a hiker all his life, had told me never to leave anyone behind on the trail. Would you believe this little boy, from then on, stayed back with me as I slowly made my way up the trail, taking several panting breaks? When his mother or his grandmother would call him from way ahead, he would say, “I’m waiting for Aunt Kay.” On the way back he had my sister’s walking stick, which has a compass in the handle. He kept stopping every four steps to read the compass, sometimes telling me that it said we were going north, other times saying it said sunshine. So, it was me waiting for him on the way out.

As for art class, my sister went with me this week for the first time in a couple of weeks. Although she started back a month ago, this is only the second class we’ve had together because she started when I was on the Olympic Peninsula with two of my brothers and then she had to work the last two classes. I have almost finished painting my water jug and tea pot. I think the only things left to paint are the greenery and flowers, unless we will be adding touches to the rest at the end.

The last few days we have seen a doe in our wolf pen once a day. I suspect that is because there is a nice patch of blackberry bushes at the end of it, and last time I went out, there were plenty of green blackberries left. In fact, they should be ripe by now, so I should go out again sometime this week. Wayne has started taking Lukey down to the wolf pen to run around in, though, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the doe starts avoiding the pen.

Dog tired

Last week was part of a couple weeks of dense smoke in the area, first from the fires in the gorge and Oregon, and then, after the wind shifted, from the fires up in British Columbia. Those were the worst—you could actually smell the smoke and the air quality was very bad. It was also hot, so last Wednesday, we relocated our weekly hike to the shopping mall. I have to say that it was not a very satisfying way to get exercise. Aside from not having the beauties of nature to look at and the toughness of some of the terrain, we made lots of stops to look into store windows and really weren’t that into it. After we made a few laps of the stores, we stopped and had coffee and then went out to lunch. I didn’t even bother to figure out how many miles we went, if we even went more than a mile. We did notice a tai chi class down on the first floor that I mean to find out about. The tai chi I’ve been doing at the Y isn’t really regular tai chi. It’s called tai chi for balance, and it incorporates some moves into other exercises. I am frankly more interested in straight tai chi. A woman watching told us it was there Mondays and Thursdays, and later we realized that she must be mistaken, as we were there on a Wednesday.

The Y pool is still closed, so no more water exercise until it opens.

Getting back to the weather, though, on Friday a cold front came in and chased all the smoke away. It went from being too hot to being a little too cold, just as if summer were suddenly gone. I had to go back to wearing two shirts, especially on Sunday, when it rained all day long. But don’t get me wrong, we needed the rain and I’m not complaining. I like cold better than heat. Yesterday it was beautiful out, still a bit cool and sunny, with gorgeous clouds. Today it is supposed to be a bit hotter than we would like, but then it’s supposed to cool down again.

I am frankly really tired. It seems as if our little Luke is never going to get house trained. As soon as he seems to have a handle on things, he has an accident. Or, we take him outside for a long time and then he comes in and pees. It’s wearing, even if you’re not doing much of anything, to have to keep an eye on him at all times. Plus, we’ve been taking turns sleeping with him in the guest room until he gets trained. This has been partly to restrict his movements and partly to keep him out of Hillary’s hair. So far, they have only had glimpses of each other, because Hillary stays in our bedroom and he stays out. My husband has told me, though, that I don’t have to sleep with Luke anymore, since I don’t sleep when I am in that bed and he does.  Last night was my first night when I didn’t have to worry about being on puppy patrol.

He looks like I feel.

He also has this thing he does of suddenly becoming frantic and trying to bite me. I haven’t figured out what to do about this yet. Giving him a cookie instead of letting him bite me was working okay yesterday until late in the afternoon. Other advice was to yip and let my hand go limp if he did bite me, but that didn’t seem to work at all. My right arm is all over bruises. My brother recommends buying a squirt gun, and I may have to do that, because it’s a little scary even when he is this small. We have bought him plenty of toys to chew on but handing him one of those doesn’t really deflect him. He is starting puppy classes on Saturday, and I hope that will help.

That’s about all that’s been going on. It’s hard to get any work done around the house when you have to keep an eye on the dog at all times. I will be glad when things return to normal around here, if that’s ever going to happen.

Tomatoes, berries, and puppies!

Well, I certainly have a surprise to start out this week, for me, too. I don’t know if I told you that my husband and I had an argument last week or the week before about getting a puppy. I actually preferred not to get one, especially as my cat Hillary is older now and deserves to spend the last few years of her life in peace. Also, frankly, my husband is older now, and he wasn’t much up to taking care of his last dog. He started out wanting a labradoodle, but I represented to him that it might be a good idea to get a smaller dog. At the same time two weeks ago, we ended up contacting a labradoodle breeder and a Keeshond breeder. You may know that we had a Keeshond rescue dog that died several years ago of cancer. He was the sweetest dog ever, our Luke.

I didn’t hear anything back from the Keeshond breeder, but Wayne heard from the labradoodle breeder and filled out an application. However, his policies gave me pause (not to pun). I have bought a couple of purebred cats and a purebred dog before, and the breeders don’t usually take money from you until your pet is born. This one wanted a deposit just to put us on a wait list, and then he wanted to keep our deposit if we didn’t get a dog. I asked Wayne how he knew the guy even had any dogs. At least the Keeshond breeder, bad business people or not, had pictures of puppies on their Facebook page.

Here’s our new Lukey looking confused about why I called his name.

So, Wayne was having second thoughts about turning in the application for the labradoodle puppy, and I hadn’t heard anything at all from the Keeshond breeders in a week. Then suddenly on Wednesday afternoon after our hike, I got a message, “Do you want a male or a female?” It turned out they had exactly one puppy left, a little boy dog. By that evening, we had him in our possession. And he is a cutey, although he is at the stage where he bites everything he sees. After batting around a few names, we decided to name him Luke Too. He shares so many expressions and characteristics with his namesake!

That, as you can imagine, has taken up a lot of our time, and our sleep, since he isn’t quite house trained yet.

Baskets of blackberries!

Then on Sunday Deb came back and we picked a lot of blackberries. She was also charmed by Lukey. A good time was had by all, and we even went to the farm store to buy her a straw hat.

My first two tomatoes (a few cherry tomatoes got eaten already)

Finally, this week I harvested my first two tomatoes! I had a small red Early Girl come off the vine first, shortly thereafter followed by one of my golden tomatoes, so far the only one that has actually appeared.

And that’s about it for this week. I am continuing working on my painting of my grandmother’s vase, and I have helped my niece a little on her project to scan all of our family photos and make a family tree. I have an extensive family tree that was begun by my maternal grandmother, and I’ll be able to help her fill in the relationships and names when she gets to that point.